The saddest thing that a chronically ill person could experience is losing friends over something that is completely out of their control.
Since being diagnosed, I have lost my share of friendships, mostly because I have become this "unreliable", "sick" friend that no one wants to "bother". Truthfully, I have been absent for a lot of special events, dates, or ceremonies, and it's not because I don't want to be there. It's just physically, I can't make it.
Eventually, your friends get tired of asking you to come places when they know it's a huge possibility that you probably can't make it anyways so eventually, the invitations either slow down or they stop altogether.
I have been blessed enough to have some friends that send me text messages inviting me out ALL the time or even dropping by my house to just check on me every now and then, but in the midst of my illness, I've noticed that people I thought were down for me, aren't. (and that's okay, it hurts but... it's all apart of life, right?)
Me, hubby, & friends going to see Black Panther
It's quite heartbreaking to lose people you've known for years, who you've grown up with and have literally shared everything with, all because your illness keeps you from getting out being who you use to be. I think a lot of the time, people assume I'm"changing" and let me just put it out there, when you have a chronic illness... guess what??
I HAVE CHANGED!! Everything about me has changed. My way of thinking, being, acting, EVERYTHING!!!
I fight for my life every day so things that used to matter, can't matter as much anymore because every day I have to persevere the energy I have just so I can make it. So excuse me if I can't make it to some of your events, or if I have to cancel at the last minute, or I'm not always available when you try to hang with me. Believe me, this is not the life I wanted. It's not the life that any chronically ill person wants.
But my friends though, my real friends, who have literally never judged me, always make themselves available for me (whether it's a ride to chemo, or holding my hand after surgery or a biopsy, or dropping off food when I'm sick) I appreciate ya'll! No words, or no actions can truly describe how much having a support system really means.
So when it comes to friends, I definitely have them... and they mean the world to me.
