I know it’s been a minute since I’ve written anything,
forgive me. Life is getting the best of me! Ha!!!
But, this blog has really been on my heart for the past
couple of days, and it’s about protecting your peace.
A popular page that I follow on twitter posted a question a
few days ago asking, “What is something you’ve taught yourself?” and I responded
with “Saying ‘no’ to protect my peace”. My mother use to always tell me growing
up that I was a people pleaser. Although, a lot of my actions I did, I thought
they were because I was doing it out of the kindness of my heart. Now that I'm grown, I’m
starting to think, “Was I only doing things to please other people, and not
myself?” I think we all sometime in our life subject ourselves to doing
something for someone else, even when we didn’t want to, but because this was
someone we cared about, it was hard to say no. But is that really people
pleasing?
Since being diagnosed with lupus, saying NO is starting to
become second nature to me now. Foolish me! I thought people I’ve done things
for in the past would understand my position now when I say that I literally can’t
do what I use to do. Side note: Ooooweeee, people will get mad if you tell them
‘no’, especially when you use to always say ‘yes’ to them. *ahem* Now,
anywho…. But since now I am literally incapable of doing things I use to do,
saying ‘no’ use to make me feel guilty. I felt like I was being unreliable or
rude. Truth be told, sometimes I said ‘no’ just because I knew I had to protect
my peace. Rather I was feeling sick or not, protecting my peace has become a priority
to me now.
When I say protecting my peace, I mean avoiding things or
situations that could possibly deter me from being productive. When I say productive
I mean using my time to cultivate the dreams, goals, gifts, talents and
abilities that I have to serve myself… in a positive way!! This could mean, saying ‘no’ to attend a
social gathering, or ‘no’ to helping someone out that you really care about. I’m
learning that putting myself first is not selfish, it’s NEEDED.
Sometimes, I shut down. Don't log on social media, put on a playlist, grab a book and just kick my feet up, and enjoy me. It's funny because when my husband comes home, and if the house has music blasting through the windows before he pulls up, he already knows I'm in one of my moods. He'll kiss me on the cheek and let me be. When the music go off, he'll return with a "So, how was your day?" Ha!!! (That's why I love that man!)
I'm taking baby steps. I didn’t just jump in saying ‘no’ to any
and everything, because it really is hard to do. It’s STILL very hard to do. I say
‘no’ and then turn around and second guess myself. Like, “Maybe I should go
ahead and go to so and so, maybe it won’t be so bad!” or "Maybe I should do this for so and so, it won't take much of my time"… but every day is a
learning experience and I’m determining which things and people I should say ‘no’
to. It's all a growth process.
Because if you don’t protect your
peace, then who will?
